i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
