I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
