I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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