im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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