dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
