I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize