Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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