Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
