great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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