Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
ttyl tear gas
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
