loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
