I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
