he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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