she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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