i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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