i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
