he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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