I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize