We won't sleep together?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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