she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
