Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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