i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Randomize
