like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
