Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
