Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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