Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
