I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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