its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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