Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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