I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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