It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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