i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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