Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
NoShamevember. You game?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
