i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
