I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
