R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize