Your face is a jimmy john
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
