Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
