The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
