oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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