did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
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Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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