I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
