We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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