sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
