I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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