Pants 0. Shit 1.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
