Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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