Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he just fucked me for my cheese.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
