I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
