guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize