On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
