I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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