you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
