You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
