But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
