I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
