hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she woke up with a sticky ear
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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