your parents love me but you hate me
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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