Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
